Neck-and-neck with TH

Tubby Hubby (TH) commented recently: "I think this shirt has shrunk in the wash."

"Are you sure?" I asked. It was his favourite white shirt that he's had for about 10 years so it sounded a bit strange that it has only now decided to start shrinking.

He ran his finger along the collar. "Yup, it feels a bit tight around the neck."

"That's because you've grown fat," I told him.

What is it about men and vanity? TH keeps moaning that he's put on weight but refuses to let me buy shirts a size bigger. He used to be the same about trousers, until he realised the alternative was to either lose weight quick or go about in his underpants.

The other day, I found a lovely pair of Marks & Spencer jeans at the Salvation Army thrift store. It was only S$5 – but it was one size larger than the ones he normally takes.

"Shall I get them?" I asked him. "You might just have grown fat enough to find that they fit."

"If they fit," he stated, "shoot me."